Normal [Ninian/Eliwood]
Jun. 4th, 2015 09:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hakkariOld-ish Nagamas fanfic that I forgot to crosspost to Ao3. I still kinda like it even though it was rushed.
Features Ninian/Eliwood and angst because whoops.
“When I look at you, I don’t see other people. I see Ninian. I see a normal, kindhearted girl.”
His words echoed within her skull, repeating like the steady beat of a drum. They were supposed to be kind words that lifted her up, but instead she could only think that she was living a lie and that he was falling for it. It kind of reminded her of those magicians that she had briefly performed with, that had claimed they were true mages who could breathe fire without tomes but in reality just manipulated matches and props.
The fire crackled in front of her, the shadows it caused only highlighting that everyone else was inside the desert ruins while she was alone in the sands. Ninian wondered how Nils could sleep with the magic from the barrier prickling at his skin. It was a constant feeling of being uncomfortable, of realizing that her kind had lost and wasn’t allowed to live among these other beings.
That meant that she definitely wasn’t allowed to be with him.
Ninian curled herself into a tighter fetal position and buried her head into her knees. Her hair surrounded her, creating a protective curtain. She hoped that whatever business the lords were dealing with would be finished by morning. It was selfish, perhaps, but she longed to be around others once more.
“I see a normal, kindhearted girl.”
“…Ninian?” She lifted her head and found herself staring straight into Eliwood’s dark eyes. He gave her a tentative smile, causing her to flush and quickly avert her gaze.
“Yes, Lord Eliwood? Is something troubling you?”
Eliwood’s smile became genuine at that point, though the worry in his brow hadn’t changed. “I was going to ask you the same thing. Do you mind if I sit?”
She shook her head, uncurling herself and shifting over. Eliwood sat down carefully next to her, so close that Ninian could feel the heat that radiated off of him. It was nice until their elbows accidentally brushed and Eliwood quickly scooted away. Perhaps it was just the light from the fire but she swore that she could see him blushing.
Not that it was a new thing to see him like that. He was flustered every time she danced, especially when she was alone with him in camp. That touching elbows caused the same reaction…
She giggled and he looked at her, eyebrows scrunched together. “Did something happen?”
“Ah, no. It’s just… the speed that you went just to get away from my arm was quite amazing, Lord Eliwood.”
Now she knew that he was blushing, his freckled face as red as a ripe tomato. “Oh, uh, I didn’t mean any offense! It’s just -”
“I’m not offended, Lord Eliwood. I just found it funny.” He seemed to relax at that, even though his face was still bright red. He shuffled his feet in the sand as they sat in comfortable silence. It was nice, really, to have these quiet moments. Every other second of the day was filled with noise, whether it was the Serra yelling at Matthew or Lady Lyndis and Lord Hector bickering.
That Eliwood could find solace in the sounds of nature alone was yet another thing that Ninian admired about him.
Yet there was a question that she couldn’t help but ask, since it was the middle of the night and they were both still awake, sitting around a fire and getting sand in their clothing.. “Was there something you needed, Lord Eliwood? Surely it’s more comfortable inside with the others. I wouldn’t want you to inconvenience yourself for my sake.”
It took him a moment to speak, his eyes directed to the flames in front of him. “You can’t come inside, right?”
Ninian said nothing, which he seemed to take as her answer.
“I didn’t want you,” he hesitated, “and Nils to be alone. So I decided to come out here.”
“Lord Eliwood -”
“Besides, Hector snores like a wyvern. It would probably be easier to sleep out here anyway.” He smiled as he said that, which helped put Ninian at ease. Slightly.
You should tell him, Ninian. Before he gets too attached and before you get too attached (too late for that). He deserves to know the truth about you and Nils and everything else because now his father is dead and it’s all your fault. You’re a monster and -
“Are you alright, Ninian? I can go back inside if it really bothers you. Making you uncomfortable was definitely not my intention.” He laughed nervously, running his hand through his hair. She found it fascinating how expressive he could be compared to Lord Elbert, who barely emoted at all in order to hide his intentions.
“…a normal, kindhearted girl.”
Ninian knew very few human stories but she knew that the handsome prince always saved his love from a monster. The prince would kill the beast and pull her into his arms and kiss her.
The prince always got the princess. The beast was always slain. The princess was never the beast.
She imagined Eliwood’s face contorting with disgust as she revealed herself to be the monster in his story instead of the kind dancer that he had come to befriend…
“Ninian?”
She snapped back to attention at the sound of her name. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t ignoring you, I promise.”
“It’s fine. I’m just worried about you.” He smiled again and she melted.
“Lord Eliwood…” Ninian trailed off. He glanced at her.
“Hm?”
“If… If I was something… If I wasn’t quite what I said I was, how would you feel?”
He seemed genuinely confused by her question, instinctively moving closer to her as her voice quieted. “What do you mean?”
“If I didn’t lie but… I excluded some information from you about what I am… Because I didn’t want you to hate me and…” She closed her eyes and curled her fingers into the sand as she tried not to cry.
She felt his hand on top of her own, his fingers threading through her tensed ones. “You don’t have to say anything else, Ninian. It’s okay. Obviously whatever it is you feel necessary to hide is very important to you, and I’m not going to pry or judge you for it. I wouldn’t hate you even if you decided to tell me, though. You’re Ninian, and it doesn’t matter what you are or what you’ve done. That won’t change.”
Her fingers relaxed under his warmth and she let out a relieved laugh.
“Thank you, Lord Eliwood.”
One day he would find out what she was and then his promise would be put to the test, but until then she would be happy to stay with him. Not as a dragon or even as a dancer, but as Ninian.
Features Ninian/Eliwood and angst because whoops.
“When I look at you, I don’t see other people. I see Ninian. I see a normal, kindhearted girl.”
His words echoed within her skull, repeating like the steady beat of a drum. They were supposed to be kind words that lifted her up, but instead she could only think that she was living a lie and that he was falling for it. It kind of reminded her of those magicians that she had briefly performed with, that had claimed they were true mages who could breathe fire without tomes but in reality just manipulated matches and props.
The fire crackled in front of her, the shadows it caused only highlighting that everyone else was inside the desert ruins while she was alone in the sands. Ninian wondered how Nils could sleep with the magic from the barrier prickling at his skin. It was a constant feeling of being uncomfortable, of realizing that her kind had lost and wasn’t allowed to live among these other beings.
That meant that she definitely wasn’t allowed to be with him.
Ninian curled herself into a tighter fetal position and buried her head into her knees. Her hair surrounded her, creating a protective curtain. She hoped that whatever business the lords were dealing with would be finished by morning. It was selfish, perhaps, but she longed to be around others once more.
“I see a normal, kindhearted girl.”
“…Ninian?” She lifted her head and found herself staring straight into Eliwood’s dark eyes. He gave her a tentative smile, causing her to flush and quickly avert her gaze.
“Yes, Lord Eliwood? Is something troubling you?”
Eliwood’s smile became genuine at that point, though the worry in his brow hadn’t changed. “I was going to ask you the same thing. Do you mind if I sit?”
She shook her head, uncurling herself and shifting over. Eliwood sat down carefully next to her, so close that Ninian could feel the heat that radiated off of him. It was nice until their elbows accidentally brushed and Eliwood quickly scooted away. Perhaps it was just the light from the fire but she swore that she could see him blushing.
Not that it was a new thing to see him like that. He was flustered every time she danced, especially when she was alone with him in camp. That touching elbows caused the same reaction…
She giggled and he looked at her, eyebrows scrunched together. “Did something happen?”
“Ah, no. It’s just… the speed that you went just to get away from my arm was quite amazing, Lord Eliwood.”
Now she knew that he was blushing, his freckled face as red as a ripe tomato. “Oh, uh, I didn’t mean any offense! It’s just -”
“I’m not offended, Lord Eliwood. I just found it funny.” He seemed to relax at that, even though his face was still bright red. He shuffled his feet in the sand as they sat in comfortable silence. It was nice, really, to have these quiet moments. Every other second of the day was filled with noise, whether it was the Serra yelling at Matthew or Lady Lyndis and Lord Hector bickering.
That Eliwood could find solace in the sounds of nature alone was yet another thing that Ninian admired about him.
Yet there was a question that she couldn’t help but ask, since it was the middle of the night and they were both still awake, sitting around a fire and getting sand in their clothing.. “Was there something you needed, Lord Eliwood? Surely it’s more comfortable inside with the others. I wouldn’t want you to inconvenience yourself for my sake.”
It took him a moment to speak, his eyes directed to the flames in front of him. “You can’t come inside, right?”
Ninian said nothing, which he seemed to take as her answer.
“I didn’t want you,” he hesitated, “and Nils to be alone. So I decided to come out here.”
“Lord Eliwood -”
“Besides, Hector snores like a wyvern. It would probably be easier to sleep out here anyway.” He smiled as he said that, which helped put Ninian at ease. Slightly.
You should tell him, Ninian. Before he gets too attached and before you get too attached (too late for that). He deserves to know the truth about you and Nils and everything else because now his father is dead and it’s all your fault. You’re a monster and -
“Are you alright, Ninian? I can go back inside if it really bothers you. Making you uncomfortable was definitely not my intention.” He laughed nervously, running his hand through his hair. She found it fascinating how expressive he could be compared to Lord Elbert, who barely emoted at all in order to hide his intentions.
“…a normal, kindhearted girl.”
Ninian knew very few human stories but she knew that the handsome prince always saved his love from a monster. The prince would kill the beast and pull her into his arms and kiss her.
The prince always got the princess. The beast was always slain. The princess was never the beast.
She imagined Eliwood’s face contorting with disgust as she revealed herself to be the monster in his story instead of the kind dancer that he had come to befriend…
“Ninian?”
She snapped back to attention at the sound of her name. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t ignoring you, I promise.”
“It’s fine. I’m just worried about you.” He smiled again and she melted.
“Lord Eliwood…” Ninian trailed off. He glanced at her.
“Hm?”
“If… If I was something… If I wasn’t quite what I said I was, how would you feel?”
He seemed genuinely confused by her question, instinctively moving closer to her as her voice quieted. “What do you mean?”
“If I didn’t lie but… I excluded some information from you about what I am… Because I didn’t want you to hate me and…” She closed her eyes and curled her fingers into the sand as she tried not to cry.
She felt his hand on top of her own, his fingers threading through her tensed ones. “You don’t have to say anything else, Ninian. It’s okay. Obviously whatever it is you feel necessary to hide is very important to you, and I’m not going to pry or judge you for it. I wouldn’t hate you even if you decided to tell me, though. You’re Ninian, and it doesn’t matter what you are or what you’ve done. That won’t change.”
Her fingers relaxed under his warmth and she let out a relieved laugh.
“Thank you, Lord Eliwood.”
One day he would find out what she was and then his promise would be put to the test, but until then she would be happy to stay with him. Not as a dragon or even as a dancer, but as Ninian.
